Wendy

Do you know what that big blue star is in LIC that you can see from the 7 train? It's Wendy. Thanks to Davis and Warshow and MoMA PS1, you can visit this large air purifier, climb inside it and cool off for a bit.

Entitled

After moving from uptown Manhattan, I do miss the park, but what I don't miss are the entitled, obnoxious adults and children who frequently occupy the otherwise beautiful place. Today, The Honey Badgers arrived at Great Lawn field #3 for our weekly softball doubleheader. To our dismay, there was a sea of suited up 11 year olds on the field, playing what seemed to be the final innings of a "championship game" (don't ask me why both teams were wearing the same jersey). Aside from the fact the game was encroaching into our playing time, there was evidence of further nuisance, as sitting on the bench was a box a small trophies. Sure enough, when the game ended (5 minutes after our tight window of playing time began), the coaches and parents corralled the horde of banshees onto field. ONTO THE FIELD!?! The game was over and we were clearly waiting to play, why wouldn't they conduct their stupid ceremony on the side, out of our way. After the coaches were done handing out little trophies to all of the players, they finally started to disperse, just in time for an anxious mother to scream, "get back here for photos!!!" Are you kidding me?!? Another 8 minutes and finally they were done and out of our way. Well, THEY were but their trash wasn't. Those entitled pigs scampered away, leaving all of their water bottles, napkins, and of course two huge empty boxes that used to be filled with stupid trophies. Now for perspective, every softball team that plays on these fields takes away their own trash. It's etiquette, it's standard, it's common sense. But these entitled Uptown parents just thought somebody was going to come clean up behind them. I wonder how their kids will turn out?*

Two empty trophy boxes, audaciously left behind by some entitled Uptown parents.

*I do know a couple people who were raised Uptown and turned out normal. So it's not everybody who's out of touch with reality, just 97% of them.

Astoria Gardening

When I moved to Astoria from the Upper East Side, the biggest concern I had was how well I would be able to transplant my micro-gardening capabilities. Having a dedicated fire escape on the top floor of my previous apartment, I took for granted my small yet convenient space. Knowing that my new fire escape space was on a lower level in much higher visibility, I came to the realization that the practicality of having a garden out there was much riskier. After all, it was technically illegal (although if a couple planters actually kept somebody from maneuvering across a fire escape during an emergency, I would have to say that it was indeed their time to go).

So while sitting in the new landlord's office to sign my new lease, I casually asked him if I could put plants in the common outdoor space behind the apartments. "No" he responded. "Cats will dig up the dirt and clog the drains." At that point I realized I had just signed a lease of a building owned by a man who had no desire to entertain any activity that, despite what benefit it could bring, had the smallest ounce of potential to bring any minor theoretical aspect of risk, whatsoever. In other words, he sucked.

From there I figured I would ask if there were any community gardens in the area. "No," he answered abruptly. At that point I understood that he was also unsympathetic to urban gardening, meaning that he not only sucked as a person, but he was an evil human being (that is correct, unsympathetic to urban gardening = evil human being). Not wanting to be in the same room as such a terrible person, I ended the conversation and left his office. Having some time to kill, instead of taking the train home, I decided to walk down 31st Street to take in the new neighborhood. I soon walked by an old woman who appeared to be digging up some dirt behind some bushes in a small patch of exposed earth surrounded by an otherwise impermeanble hardscape. I figured maybe she would know if there were any gardens around, since she seemed to be the type. But when I approached the old woman and politely asked, "Excuse me mam..." she jumped up, startled. I continued, "I just moved to the neighborhood, and was wondering if you knew of any community gardens around." She continued to look at me, confused, and responded hesitantly in a thick accent, "I don know, I jus bury my dead bird." Fair enough. I went on my way, feeling very welcomed to Queens.

I eventually did find that community garden, but it is a rogue garden on private abandoned land, so I cannot describe it in fear of endangering its existence. But I never gave up the idea of gardening at home, no matter how restricted my space was. The less space I had the bigger the challenge. For a variety of reasons, I had to confine all of my window accessories to a single kitchen window, which included a small air conditioner. However, a hanging planter and one inside/outside self draining shelf later, this was the end result:

Booya! No I have fresh basil, rosemary, mint, and some other random decoratives within easy reach of my kitchen. Take that, loser landlord!

Sorry, Katie

Sorry, Katie.

Sorry for poking at you about our first NCAA matchup. Sorry for calling an upset, for a matchup in the first round of March Madness where your Duke was a 2 seed, playing 15 seed Lehigh. Sorry for sending you constant text messages before the game saying we were going to win. Sorry for for telling you to "bring it." Sorry for asking if you were nervous. Sorry for telling you that you've been indoctrinated. Sorry for blaming it on the dye in Coach K's hair. Sorry for asking if you really bleed blue. Sorry for beating you. Sorry Sis.

Here is Me Being Sorry:

Also, sorry for losing the next round to Xavier after blowing a 15 point lead.

NYC Marathon '11

Everything ended up on Facebook this year...

Click here

Austin

The river they called a lake.

Vibrant streets

Beautiful buildings

Crazy-eyed bird

Good thing it's still 2011

Best way to get around, obviously

Rays of heaven beaming down on a sea of beauty

Austin City Limits

Alison Krauss

Stevie Wonder

Arcade Fire

We'll be back

Pepper Party 4

A lot of peppers this year. Nuff said.

Garden Update

It's late August and the summer has brought a fair amount of excitement to the land of the fire escape. A view from below shows a summer of growth.

Much of the growth has been due to the wet summer we've had, and regular watering to offset the super hot days. Although, the rain has been hard to manage, especially for my compost when it comes in hard and sideways.

But most importantly I got fruit this year: Mostly cucumbers and peppers.

However the other day I found something peculiar. One of my tomato plants was gnawed to the stems. It was completely stripped.

After a quick investigation. I found the culprit.

A tomato hornworm. Turns out these are pretty damaging machines, as I had learned the hard way. Although fortunately for me, there are these braconid wasps out there who like to control the tomato hornworm population by laying their eggs on the worms and slowly eating out their insides. I didn't really believe it when I heard it until I looked out the window and saw it being done...twice...pretty intense sight to see.

But all in all, the garden is still well. If only I could grow some friggin broccoli...

Old Time Warner

Wow, Time Warner. Your online bill pay website requires me to downgrade my browser to log in. Another reason for me to cancel you.

Look closely at the supported browser versions. The current latest version of IE is 9, the latest of Safari is 5, and Firefox is 5 as well. Are they for real? FIOS, why must you still not be available on my block!?!?!

Know Your Biker!

A week ago, I was talking to a friend of mine who had just started a new job. She said to me, "You have GOT to meet my new boss, you would love him, he rides his bike everywhere!" "Oh yeah?" I replied, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah! He does these 100 mile rides every weekend, with the whole racing outfit and everything!" My grin then turned to a grimace. I thought to myself, do I really look like the type of guy with that much free time and a voluntary urge to wear spandex?

The truth is, there are many types of riders out there. Different riders have different motives, different techniques and different reasons to be loved or hated. Most riders fall into one of several categories. In New York City, here are the top 9 different types of riders.

1) The Regular Commuter: These are the most noble of riders. They have one goal: Get from point A to point B. Most of these riders take their ride seriously because it is their most common mode of transportation. Therefor most of them follow the etiquette of the road and don't really cause a nuisance. Men and women alike, some are wearing business attire with sneakers to change out of later, and others are just casual normal looking people, just trying to beat the subway. This is me, and hundreds of thousands of other city dwellers. Respect them, because they are worthy of respect.

2) The Hardcore Cyclist: Nobody can be criticized for some good wholesome cardio, but is the outfit really necessary? C'mon, you look ridiculous. I don't go for a run in short shorts, nor do I take batting practice in a full baseball uniform, nor do I shave my legs to go for a swim. Actually, I would never shave my legs but that's besides the point. I honestly wish I had the free time to spend my mornings and weekends riding, but sadly for me I have a job and a social life to maintain. Sorry.

3) The Hispanic Food Delivery Man: Here come the stereotypes! But if you can prove me wrong, I'll shut up. These riders are typically found with plastic bags both covering their seat and also carrying delivery food. They are usually riding an old beat up mountain bike on the wrong side of the road, frequently going the wrong way in a bike lane. Sometimes they are wearing helmets and safety vests with the name of the restaurant (which is now the law) and sometime they are wearing only kitchen attire. Their poor road manners make normal bikers cringe and scream insults, but they ignore it because their speedy arrival promotes higher tips for the hungry awaiting customers.

4) The Asian Food Delivery Man: We've all seen them. The 45-year-old asian man riding an electric bicycle with an awkward baseball cap and a cigarette. I still remember the first time I saw one of these battery powered "bicycles" silently whiz by me. Within the last several years these riders have increased exponentially. Some appear to be delivering food, others seem to be up to no good. Verrry Mysteeeerious. We'll never know.

5) The Messenger: These frequently dreadlocked daredevil defy the logic of bicycle physics. Putting in hundreds of miles a day, these riders perform unlike any other, both in stamina and agility. Squeezing through crevices between busses and wiggling through crowds of people crossing the street, these impressive riders snake their way down the street with graceful form, almost invisible. They intimidate some pedestrians, but if you need to get a role of architectural plans from East 53rd St to Church Street, they are your go-to-guy.

6) The Tourist: These riders are easy to recognize because they are dressed like Europeans, not wearing helmets while slowly and awkwardly swerving around on dumb looking cruiser bikes they rented at Columbus Circle. They frequently have no clue whatsoever where they are going, and they love to get in your way. It's like they do it on purpose.

7) The Pedicabbies: These are the foreigners who take advantage of other foreigners. Ride by them and just listen to the garbage they spew. "I rode by Alec Baldwin yesterday." or "That building is the one from Ghost Busters." Fredereick Law Olmstead would turn over in his grave if he knew his park was infested by such sleazy sleeveless scammers. The only thing that makes horse and carriages worse is the fact that they poop all over the place.

8) The Hipsters: Hipsters are the only reason fixed gear bikes even exists. Maybe it's because fixies are the vinyls of bicycles: inferior yet "authentic." Anyway, these epically rad riders are mostly found in Brooklyn, where style trumps performance. Vintage style bikes line the streets and even the guys have baskets in front. It's weird. But that's why it's cool.

9) The Crazy Non-Bikers: These are riders who get the double takes. You see them mostly in the parks or on the Hudson Greenway. They are riding the recumbent bicycles or even bikes that look like elliptical machines. It makes you wonder what stoned bike shop nut came up with these ideas, yet its impressive performance makes you intrigued and somewhat jealous. Then again, it seems like something you would try once then go back to a regular bicycle.

Then again, maybe you are a mix of several categories. The point is, one type doesn't classify all riders. Some people hate all bikers because they associate all of them with the rule-breaking delivery guys or the wreckless traffic swervers. Some people think all riders are training for the Tour de France because of all the silly spandexed people out there. False associations just make it frustrating for the rest of us who are just trying to get from point A to point B. So the point is, know your biker, ok? Now get out of my way, I have somewhere to go.